ELIMINATION OF SELF-ABUSIVE, SELF-NEGATING THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS I will gain more understanding when I realize . . . I cannot force others to see that what I feel is real.

When you are hurting, it may seem that other people do not notice or that they do not care.  They never seem able to recognize the depth of your misery or discomfort. You want them to feel what you are going through so that they can stop it.  Unfortunately, your efforts to get them to acknowledge what you are feeling lead to more frustration. You conclude that they don't care and this sends you deeper into the very thing you are trying so desperately to escape. You cannot force someone else to see your pain.  Your pain is your pain.  It is the result of what you are telling yourself about yourself, about others, about situations or circumstances.  It is not necessary for anyone to see, know or understand that you are hurting. You know! Your experience is the only motivation required to let you know that something must change. That something is you. When you are in pain, you must take responsibility for the elimination of your own pain. If you believe that someone's behavior is hurting you, move away!  Move far enough away and for long enough to realize your pain is not caused by them; it comes from what you tell yourself about them. Often, pain is the result of the failure to acknowledge something that is staring you right in the face.  What may be staring at you is the fact that is demanding attention from someone else, you are giving away pieces of yourself that are too valuable to lose. Until today, you may not have realized that trying to force someone else to acknowledge your pain causes you more pain.  You may have been blaming them when the truth is you are abusing yourself. Just for today, know that your pain is real and that your experience is the only legitimate reason you need to make some need changes. Today I am devoted to the elimination of self-abusive, self-negating thoughts and behaviors!   From Until Today!   by Iyanla Vanzant