WANT MORE THAN A MATE, WANT A FRIEND Only Choose to marry a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

We often have such unrealistic expectations of our mates that it is as if we do not want them to measure up. We want them to be like, act like, behave like some idealistic model we have cooked up in our minds.  The problem is that we never reveal to them what the model is.  We hold them accountable and responsible to satisfy our desires, but we forget to tell them what our desires are.  We must remember that our mates are people. They are not mind readers.  We are asking for disappointment when we do not share with them our expectations. We complain to friends, compare them to family members; why not talk to the one person who could probably help set things right?  We should talk to our mates as if they are our friends. Reveal to them those parts of us that we have hidden from the world.  And if in our heart of hearts we cannot do this, we need to ask ourselves, "Why am I with this person?" I want more than a mate, I want a friend. From Acts of Faith   by Iyanla Vanzant